Newton's Outfitters
by Subtlynice
Summary: Edward pays Bella's workplace a visit. Fluff ensues. Edward/Bella, post-New Moon fluff.


Newton's Outfitters

**A/N:** Okay, writing 'The Angel Illusion' made me sad, so I figured it was high time I wrote some funny, fluffy Edward/Bella stuff to cheer me up. Henceforth, this story was written for the sole purpose of making myself laugh. The customer is English because I don't know the American term for waterproof trousers and I wanted to keep the Forks joke. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, I don't own Edward Cullen.

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It was an average morning in Forks as I stood at the doorway of _Newton's Outfitters_, waiting for a customer to release me from my boredom. The scene outside was drizzly and cloudy, and the scene indoors was equally grim. Mrs. Newton had been shouting at Mike for the last hour, and had only just stomped away, into the back of the shop, slamming the door loudly behind her.

All of this, on top of the fact that I would have to wait another two hours until I could see Edward's perfect, god-like face beaming down at me was making me very depressed. I sighed and started to walk to the back of the shop, intending to do some sorting of the accounts while I waited for my shift to finish.

The bell attached to the front door rang, and I turned around to greet the customer.

The customer stood in the doorway, his perfect features enhanced by the bright lights of the shop. His bronze hair was dewed with raindrops and his indescribable face was chiselled into a warm smile. His honey-coloured eyes stopped me in my tracks, hypnotising beautiful.

"Edward?" I asked blankly. "What are you doing here?"

He beamed at me brightly. "Well, you know how much my brothers and I love to go camping," (his grin turned devilish as my eyes narrowed in suspicion) "and I wanted to restock our supplies before our next trip."

I raised my eyebrow and he laughed heartily.

"Alright, I wanted to see you. Is that such a crime?"

Touched as I was by this statement, my boss Mrs. Newton wasn't in the best of moods today, and I didn't think she would take kindly to me chatting up our only customer of the morning while there were floors to sweep and shelves to be restocked.

"Edward, my shift doesn't end for another two hours. You know that." I told him sternly. He wasn't discouraged by my tone. Instead, he walked towards me and wrapped me into a huge, careful hug, resting his chin on top of my head. I heard him sigh contently.

"Sorry," he breathed, his velvet voice sincere. "But I've spent seven months of my… existence believing I would never see you again. The thought of waiting another two hours was unbearable."

I simply sighed, no longer able- or willing –to disagree. And then the bell attached to the door rang again, announcing a new customer. I groaned at the awful timing as Edward pulled away from me.

"Now, now," he grinned. "You've got a customer to serve."

I huffed, but gave the entering backpacker my best welcoming assistant smile. He approached the till and Edward stepped smoothly away, apparently examining the walking boots on special offer with great interest.

"Good afternoon, can I help you with anything?" I asked politely. Edward sniggered. I shot him a look, but this only seemed to amuse him even more.

"Err, yes, actually." The man said, in a British accent. "I've come looking for new waterproofs. Waterproof jackets _and _trousers. Do you stock any of those?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. This was Forks, Washington for God's sake. Practically the rainiest place on the planet. Every shop in Forks sold waterproofs. This man obviously hadn't been in town very long.

"I'm sure we do." I told him. "Just wait right here and I'll have a look for you."

Edward seemed to be finding something about my work demeanour incredibly funny. Now he was staring at the display of compasses while desperately trying to keep a straight face. I walked past him, ignoring him completely.

"Ah, yes, here they are." I announced to the confused backpacker, who was looking between me and Edward with a very nervous expression. Maybe he'd already met some other locals and come to the conclusion that the whole town was barmy. Whatever it was, he grabbed his waterproofs, paid and then exited so quickly it was almost vampire speed. I didn't even think he had time to check the sizes of his new purchases.

"Are you going to tell me what that was all about?" I demanded, once the man was out of sight.

Edward could no longer contain his laughter- it broke free so loudly I was instantly sure that Mrs. Newton would come charging out and demand to know what was going on. Mike poked his head out of the store cupboard to stare at the scene before him and raise one eyebrow questioningly. I shrugged, and he walked back into the store cupboard, shaking his head in bewilderment.

I waited until he'd calmed down (which took a considerably long time) before I posed my question again.

"Well?"

"Sorry." He said, beaming beautifully. "It's just… well… you're so… _cute_ when you're serving customers. I never knew watching you work could be so entertaining."

"What do you mean?" I asked blankly. "You've seen me working before." This was true- to keep up the charade of he and his family being keen hikers, he was often in _Newton's Outfitters_, buying supplies he would never use.

He walked towards me and took my hand again, playing with my fingers as he spoke.

"Yes, but you've always been… stocking shelves or setting up the till. I've never actually seen you serve a customer before. It's interesting."

"In what way?" I asked. I'd always thought my job was quite boring- mundane really. But Edward was now looking at me with a gleam in his gorgeous, golden eyes.

"I'm not sure." He said. "It's like… a new side to you. You somehow manage to make your job look like the most fascinating profession in the world, just by being there."

I laughed at him. "You're calling _Newton's Outfitters _the most interesting place in the _world_?"

He paused, his eyes still gleaming mischievously. Then, he relinquished his grip on my hand and strode towards the customer side of the till, looking back at me expectantly.

"What?" I asked grumpily.

His eyes shone with suppressed laughter. "I'd like some assistance with finding my purchases, if you don't mind."

"Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me."

He simply smiled.

I narrowed my eyes at him and he gave me his best heartbroken puppy expression, before turning towards the door. He looked like a disconsolate angel.

"Or I could shop elsewhere." He said, injecting the hurt puppy dog act into each syllable. I gave up.

"Oh, fine." I grumbled. "I'll serve you. I don't care. Just don't spend too much money on anything stupid, okay?"

He beamed. Then he gazed into my eyes and asked in a soft, velvety tone, "I'd like to know where I could find some packaged, dried foods suitable for a camper, please."

Wow. I'll never criticise flirty waitresses _ever again_. They have some talent. To be able to talk while serving this man is an achievement in itself. To be able to flirt too- they must be geniuses. They should all get pay rises.

"Bella?" He asked, concerned. "What's wrong? What are you thinking?"

"Waitresses." I blurted out, honestly.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Nothing," I said, shaking the waitress thought out of my head and blushing.

"Um…Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Dried foods." He said.

"I beg your pardon?" I asked, stupidly.

He laughed, then took my hand and brought me over to the dried food selection. He then dropped my hand and stepped back, looking confused.

"So, which ones should I purchase, do you think?" He asked. "I mean… what is your expertise opinion?"

I frowned. "You're not buying any of this stuff, are you?"

He sighed. "Humour me, Bella."

"But… you won't _eat_ it. What's the point?"

"Fine." He glared, then relaxed and said, "I'd at least like to buy a pair of walking boots."

"Walking boots are expensive." I complained.

"Then please direct me to the cheapest walking boots currently available." He retorted.

By this time, I was completely confused. I wasn't sure if this was an argument or a sales conversation. Either way, Edward seemed to be having the time of his life when I relented and walked him towards the shoes on the other side of the small shop.

"What size?" I asked wearily.

"Any." He responded cheerfully.

"Edward…" I moaned. He grinned.

"I'm never going to need walking boots, am I? So what's the point in getting the right size?" He asked. "Just show me the cheapest pair currently in stock."

I glared as I picked up the half-price kids' boots and waved them in front of his glorious face. He frowned.

"That's not very professional behaviour." He complained.

"Neither are you." I retorted, aware that my brilliant comeback made no sense whatsoever.

He dropped the annoying customer act and swept me into his arms suddenly. I yelped and he laughed, teasingly.

"I'm sorry." He said, planting a kiss on my forehead. "I'll stop now. I just… I liked seeing you doing something… normal with your life. It's nice to see that you can still have some normality."

I froze.

"Don't you start that again." I warned, pulling him tighter to me, afraid of him leaving. "Last time you said you wanted a normal life for me, I didn't see you for seven months and I went all loopy."

"No." He said softly. "I won't leave again. I think what I'm trying to say is… I like being a part of your normal lifestyle. You know, the days when we're not being chased by people who want to kill you."

"Oh." I said, and then smiled up at him. "That's… nice."

"Yes." He agreed, and hugged me tighter to him. I felt him smelling my hair, and I giggled.

He let me laugh at him, smiling into my hair. The he bent down and ever so carefully kissed me on the lips.

"Mmm," I sighed, as his breath mingled with mine, and I tried fruitlessly to pull him closer. I moaned as he pulled away, and he chuckled slightly, mussing my hair playfully.

"So," He said, his topaz eyes glittering with amusement. "What were you saying about waitresses?"

* * *

**A/N:** I wrote this during my internet-free month of boredom. Let me know what you think please!


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